I'm writing...

I'm just not publishing. lol

I had a weird week.

I wrote for a few hours the other night and what I wrote was good. It was actually really good after I cleaned it up.

Scathing though, and well I just don't want to be that way. So it sits like several others... unpublished. It used to bother me when I wrote and it never saw daylight. Now, I think it's a necessary step in what I do. Sometimes I'm wrong in what I say.

Sometimes I allow emotion to control what flows out of my mind and into it too, for that matter, and I really shouldn't.

Sometimes I fill in blanks and I'm off target. More often than not... I'm dead on.

Go with your hunches, go with your gut. You will be wrong every now and then, I'll warn you. You should, however, still develop a good relationship with your hunches. We have instinct for something, so we may as well use it.

Instinct, such a feral word in an information age. Most would have you believe that instincts went out with stone wheels, but not me. I believe that we ignore our gut feelings too much. We train ourselves to get facts, and by the time all of them are laid out, we could have went with our hunch, been wrong, suffered the consequences, and recovered already. It doesn't always work like that, but I think if you recount what's happened to you in life, you'll find that to be the case in more than a few situations you've been in.

There's nothing wrong with leg work and getting facts. That's great, but you need a good balance in life - in every way.

Hunches work on a more mysterious, but no less scietific level. Hunches are based on everything where facts are based on something. If you think about it, you'll realize that your mind is taking care of the little details like eye contact, posture, vocal rhythm and timbre, hand motions, fidgeting, everything. All that and more gets figured into why you don't want to do something when the facts say that everything else is fine.

I'll say this. I take a stab in the dark, every now and then, that pays off, and sometimes, I take one that gets me in a bit of hot water. The people that I care about understand that about me. They know that I've probably thought through every other scenario, and that's the best conclusion I can come up with. They also know that if I say something that offended them, based solely on a gut feeling, that it wasn't anything personal (And let's be honest here. In reality aren't the people that we care about the only ones we truly care if we offend? I guess if you were at a job interview or something, but other than that, the circumstances are pretty few.) They know that I'm normally missing a key piece of info, if that happens. They also know that if I'm proven wrong, I won't try to fight my way out of the corner.

That's another part of all this, you sometimes have to lose.

I'm as competitive as anyone I know, and, while I may not be the happiest person in the world when I lose, I make a concerted effort to be gracious. As far as how I make other people feel in life, I try to be the same way. If it turns out I'm wrong, well then I'm wrong, and apologetic or remorseful doesn't quite correctly define the way I feel.

That all really applies to those I care about. The ones I don't? I feel bad, and my memory normally abuses me for it, but I recover quickly. Any more, I'm starting to care less for everyone I don't already care about. I find that there are either people who want to take advantage of everything and everyone available, and people who give to those people. There isn't really any room for people in between. Those two groups break down into smaller groups too, based on the quality of their conscience, but realistically - that's it.

So, I guess that's all. Go with your gut. If they care, they'll be fine with it. If they don't, you shouldn't care, so what's the big deal? You didn't actually lose anything.


Take care,

Mo