...what are we figh-ting for?

...and I was driving, thinking - "What really is worth fighting for?"

I mean, there's the obvious, you'll always fight for your kids. You want to give them every chance they can get all the while balancing building them up and not letting their heads get to big.

It's somewhere in here that we have our significant other. I think this one depends on a bunch of different factors.

Then, there's your family. Most would fight for their family. Wouldn't they?

You have your friends. I'd say that most would fight for their friends before their family. That's more of a chronological/physical location issue versus desire - you'll always see your friends in a fight or suffering. Your sister's best friend will probably see her's. It's just the way it is.

Now this is where it seems to get sketchy. What comes next? Your work? Pets? That's definitely arguable. I've met people that seem to like their pets more than their own kids. But after this tight little group it seems the whole world falls by the wayside.

Me, it's more about fighting for opportunity. I truly believe that I've fought a good fight at work to make sure that we were compensated and treated fairly. As a matter of fact, I feel like I've always fought that fight more than the rest because I haven't had to really get after too many other areas in my life... but I'm starting to see a change.

I'm beginning to see areas that I need to fight more but as with anything else the fighting has to be balanced with a strong sense of purpose as to what you're fighting for.

I'll give you a good example:
I have noted before that I have this amazing network where I work. Most people would agree that I have the best group of friends, acquaintances, contacts and just plain nice people when I work. They really take amazingly good care of me. The trouble starts when things move on from there.

Sometimes you find people you prefer to spend more time with, and at that point I have to fight. I have to fight with which I feel is more important, the network of friends or the desire to move things along with one because it seems that, without fail, they always stand in each other's way.

Honestly, it was easier when Cortney was around. I wanted to go to dinner with someone. I called her. It was simple. The weeks I had the kids she rarely heard from me and she was fine by that. The weeks I didn't, I could call her 5 minutes before I was ready to leave and she was normally willing to go, regardless of event. No strings. No drama. No rumors. No criticism. Easy.

History has taught me that the network is way more valuable than a date or even a relationship (sorry ladies). It's also taught me that it's better to keep them separate. And it's taught me that picking one from the network to pursue is a bad idea too.

So... is it worth fighting for the balance? Is it worth risking chunks of the network? Is it worth risking the whole thing (don't think that would ever be an issue)? I'm not the hopeless romantic type. I believe there are specific things that happen. They happen by chance and little else controls it.

But like the lady who prayed to win the lottery every day and died before ever once winning. In heaven she asks God why she never won even though she prayed for it all the time. He replies, "I would have been more than happy to help, but you never bought a ticket."


Either way, I'm tired. Night. I'm going to bed.